Article by Paula Quinsee

Paula Quinsee is a Relationship Expert speaker and author of the self-help guide Embracing Conflict. Paula works with individuals and organisations to cultivate healthy relationships in both personal and professional arenas by focusing on personal growth and development. Go to for more info.

Our role has evolved so much that no longer can there be a standard description for us other than perhaps that of: human being and of female gender.

On a daily basis, we juggle many roles to give ourselves (and society) a sense of purpose and identity – wife, lover, mother, sister, girlfriend, niece, cousin, career-woman… the list is endless.

This silent juggling of hats finds us being so ‘busy’ 24/7 leaving us feeling frazzled and out of touch with our own true purpose and identity.

Often as a result thereof, there is also the possibility of a sense of low self worth, low self esteem and a yearning for something more to life. The impact on our lives can be taxing not to mention our relationships with others.

I see this in many of the couples and individuals I work with, where the woman has lost touch of self and who they really are, a bit like a ship sailing unchartered waters without a compass or map.

So what are some solutions to help manage this?


Take time out for self

There is no need to feel guilty about this, it is not selfish but rather a much needed necessity to recharge yourself, and you deserve it.


Communication is key in all relationships

Majority of problems experienced in relationships is due to the lack of communication, either what is not being said or what is not being heard. Consistent and clear communication leaves little room for misunderstandings and assumptions. Download the free “Conflict is our Friend” ebook here.

Know thyself

If you do not know what you like, don’t like, need or want then it is very hard to express your needs to others.

Don’t be afraid to ask for help

It takes a brave and courageous person to admit they need a little help. You don’t have to struggle with things alone, reach out to others for the support you need.

Learn to say no

The more we take on to keep, the more we create our own mountains to surpass. It’s ok to say no every now and then, the world is not going to stop turning or come to an end. And you’re allowed to.

Never has there been a time like now for a woman to step into her own power and create anything her heart desires. Opportunities are everywhere for you to pluck out the sky and carve your own path irrespective of which role you are stepping into.

What do you think?

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